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Tales of Night City

Thank you in advance for your feedback!

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  1. Hey Aaron,
    I read your story "V and the Beast" and I really like that you tried to stick to the original folklore as best as you can but with a futuristic setting of the world of Cyberpunk 2077. I like that instead of one swing of the sword like Susanoo, V instead took down Orochi with a perfect shot. Your pace of world building like V's job as a mercencary, and who the Aldecaldos are is well done. I understood why the Aldecaldos can't defend themselves due to having weaker firearms, but I couldn't figure out why as a group they can't beat Orochi. I assume Orochi is a robot of some kind in the story but what is it? how big is it and what is it made of that make it tough to beat? Overall, I think your story is well done but what if you break the story up from just one paragraph into several smaller paragraphs. I think that would make it more easier to read and keep the story organized!

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  2. Hey Aaron!
    I just wanted to preface by saying I have played Cyberpunk 2077. It was just alright, but certainly didn't live up to the hype. Although nothing ever does. I like how you set the dirty techno landscape in the first few sentences. Referencing the badlands and the mercenaries who make their living through odd jobs and other dangerous and nefarious means. Although, I think you should expand the scene setting part of your story and expand on the dynamics of the world. You could talk about the major corporations like Arasaka and Militech. You could talk about how humanity has changed as a whole, such as how there are only a few cities left in the world. I liked the initial mystery when you introduced the rising action of the plot, the Orochi. It set the stage for the story that this was no ordinary encounter but something unique. You did a good job explaining what a cyberpycho is to the uninitiated crowd. As Tony said above I think you should breakup your paragraph into smaller ones.

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  3. Good afternoon Aaron,
    "V and the Beast" was a very fun story to read! Even though it closely follows the plot of the Eight-Forked Serpent of Koshi, the way you changed everything from the characters to the setting and the little things in between like sake to ammunition really made it unique. And the Cyberpunk 2077 theme is the icing on the cake! Like the comments above, I think it would help greatly to break it up into a few smaller paragraphs... but I don't want to be too redundant, so I'll give you my specific suggestions: right after "needed to be raked in." "dry sands of the badlands." and "when the time came." seem like good places if you ask me. This way the story has a clearer beginning, body, and ending.
    One question I have is, could you find some more futuristic cyberpunk-type images to add to this page? I love the traditional Japanese artwork (I've actually got some just like it in my own storybook), but I think since your story is a cyberpunk twist on a Japanese tale that one extra image or so would help us visualize the new setting you've created.
    Overall, great story and I'm looking forward to reading more!

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  4. Aaron,

    Your story had a very cool cyber element to it. I have never heard of Cyberpunk 2077, so this was all completely new to me. However, I liked how the creature was a "cyber-psycho piloting a mini-mech unit." The story kept me wanting to read more to figure out it was going to end. Since I haven't seen Cyberpunk 2077, I'm not too sure what that cyber being might look like. What is a cyber-psycho? Are they a droid or an actual person? One suggestion I have is to give a little more introduction for the main character V. The start of the story gives some insight on what V does, but I would love to learn a little more about him before the story starts. You could maybe intro on why V has come to live the lifestyle that he does. You mentioned a race in the underground racing scene. What does he race? Is this what he normally does with his time and his main source of income?

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  5. Hi Aaron!

    This was such a fun read to experience and is actually one of the ones that caught my eye out of the entire class. There was not one moment where I was not racing to see what happened next. I especially love your word choice and the drama that you created with all the danger. Also I loved the artwork that you chose. It reminded me of one of my favorite animes "Demon Slayer" with the sword and movement in that back. I read the original story before reading yours and I like how you kept the essence of the story while giving your own little twist on it.
    One thing I would do to help the story is to give more insight about what the main character, V, and his backstory. I would also include maybe a picture of Cyberpunk 2077 to give more of a visual.

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  6. Hi Aaron! It was interesting to read your take on this Japanese folktale. I've never played it myself, but I'm familiar with Cyberpunk 2077 and appreciated the way you incorporated the setting and some of the characters from the game into your story. I would recommend adding in your author's note that Cyberpunk 2077 is a video game because it seems like some people are not familiar with it. But you may have already planned on explaining once you add an introduction. I also liked the suggestion that others have already mentioned which is to add images from the game onto your site. I think that will be a fun way to add to the imagery of your stories. My storybook also involves a video game (Animal Crossing) and Japanese myths, so it's cool seeing others do a similar approach of mashing up different worlds. Keep up the great work :)

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  7. Hi Aaron,
    It was interesting to read your story "V and the Beast" and see how you changed the setting to Cyberpunk 2077. I have heard of Cyberpunk 2077 but I have never played it or seen anyone play it. It is usually something that I am not into but your story definitely caught my attention. I agree with what some of the other people are saying about adding pictures from Cyberpunk 2077. I think that it would add more imagery and help to show people exactly what Cyberpunk is who have not seen/heard of it before. I also have questions on what a cyber-psycho is? I have never heard of it before and wonder if that is a picture you could add to help imagine what it is. Is it like an actual person or something totally different. Good job on your introduction, I will be back to read more stories!

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  8. Hi Aaron!
    I found your story fun and an interesting read. I liked your take on the Eight- Forked Serpent folktale. Your story had me trying to guess who the monster was. I was wondering if it was some sort of evil robot. While I was reading your story, I had no idea what Cyberpunk 2077 was. I wasn't sure if it was a movie or video game. I had to go and look it up. One suggestion I have would be to let your readers know what it is. Other than that, I enjoyed reading your story. I like retellings of Japanese mythology and folklore. Every time I see Susanoo and Orochi, I think of Naruto. So, it's always fun seeing what people come up with. I am excited to read more of your stories.

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  9. Hey Aaron,
    I really am a fan of your story and how you incorporated a Japanese myth so seamlessly into a futuristic video game! I never would have had the creativity to come up with such a fusion and really appreciate the effort it must have taken to find analogues between such different lores. One question that I am quite curious about is where you came up with the name "V"? I haven't played to game, so this may be a question easily answered if I had some knowledge of the world it was set in. Another point to raise is that it can often be quite confusing or someone who is dropped right in to a story where they don't know the rules and definitions of the world. A way to possibly make this easier would be to add a note on your Home page or make an introduction page which sets the stage for your readers before they dive in. It wouldn't necessarily need to be much, just set some of the few ground rules for the wolf you are leading your readers into and give some basic definitions and examples of things which you think they are likely to encounter in your stories. That should help a lot with any reader confusion. Hope this helps and I cannot wait to see what other adventures V will be going on in the future!

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  10. Hey Aaron,
    I love the banner image that you have. It is representative of your story and helps me imagine your story as well. It would be nice if it was larger. At least on the home page. A larger image may serve to immerse the reader more. I like how you introduce V and the Aldecaldos. When you are describing the Aldecaldos, it gives me an outside view of Night City. I like the twist that you do with Orochi. How the Aldecaldos seem to think it is a monster or a beast, but it turns out to be a mech unit. This makes more sense considering the inspiration of Cyperpunk and the environment of Night City. Also, "Realizing that the beast never went after people..." is a great subtle-hint that it likely is not a living animal. I am curious to know more about Panam. She is an Aldecaldo, but what is her relation to V? Is she a love interest? "Winning V more of her affection..." makes me think she may be a future love interest for him. Overall, I really like your story and how it begins and wraps up the conflict with the Orochi, but leaves room for future thoughts like V's relationship with Panam or just another adventure V embarks on with his heightened reputation.

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  11. Hi Aaron! One of the aspects of your Storybook that drew me in immediately was how you blend both the traditional elements of Japanese myth in a futuristic setting--and somehow they fit together seamlessly in fascinating ways! The setting was so cool, and I could tell that you had the backstory of the worldbuilding all planned out in your brain. In general, you do a good job of explaining what things like the Aldecaldos and cyber-psychos are, although I think sometimes I was a little confused about remembering what things were. Part of that might be because of how long the paragraphs in your story tend to be. I might recommend breaking up the paragraphs a little, although that might just be a personal preference. Also, as far as I can tell, the only thing that is consistent between the two stories is the main character V--maybe you could provide some kind of transition between stories to connect them more? Overall, though, this story was so creative, and I'm excited to see where it goes next!

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  12. Hey Aaron,
    I really enjoyed reading both V and the Beast and The Labors of V. I think you did a really good gob of adapting a Japanese Tale as well as integrating themes from the game cyberpunk. Both of these aspects make for a great story and I can tell there is more to come. This week we are focusing on storybook and portfolio design. Specifically, something that stood out with your site is you may add some features to navigate on your home page. The easiest one to use is the clickable button and the site allows you to pick what pages it navigates to. Another thing that stood out to me was your header images, I noticed you are using the same for both stories. It may be advantageous for you to switch up the header images, it'll do a lot aesthetically to your storybook. The last thing id recommend is collapsible authors notes it is a really neat feature google sites offers. Other than that I really enjoy the images and the headers you are currently using they look really nice. Keep up the great work!

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  13. Hi Aaron!
    I think both of your stories "V and the Beast" and "The Labors of V" were very interesting to read! Overall, for both, it was very clear that you stuck really well to adapting from Japanese Folklore Tales as well as integrating aspects from the Cyberpunk 2077 game. Coming from a person that knows absolutely nothing about Japanese Folktales or the game Cyberpunk 2077, I think I would have liked an introduction to your storybook to maybe go into detail about the game and how it will be mixed with certain tales, as well as explaining the tales also. While the stories were very interesting, they were kind of hard for me to follow, really get into and understand just because I had no prior knowledge and did not know what I needed to look for. Other than that, your site looks very cool and you have a good concept going – good luck with your remaining stories!

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  14. Hey Aaron!
    I loved both "V and the Beast" and "The labors of V"! They were a super interesting read. When I saw the name V I thought that I knew that name from somewhere and then you mention Cyberpunk 2077! That's where it is from! Sadly I never got into the game much but I totally know some of the characters. I'm not too familiar with Japanese folk tales but I could tell how you integrated the too. I loved the imagery of your cover page and first story, and the second story's image gives me those cyberpunk vibes that you are going for. Awesome job!

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  15. Hi Aaron!
    Haha, I like your story so far! It's actually really clever how well you're tweaking the classical stories into your videogame storyline because it feels like such an original story and then you get down to the author's note and see where you drew inspiration from and realize, oh yeah I can see that now! The details in your story are truly immaculate. I can feel your passion coming through the story, and when I'm reading it feels like I can actually see the videogame taking place. I'm not a big gamer, but my sister is, so in the first story it didn't click that's what it was based on. In fact, it reminded me of a sci-fi fantasy with a dash of The Mandalorian. The way you describe the characters and their interactions is really well done. I could picture it all in my mind very easily. Great work.

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  16. Hello Aaron,
    Awesome tales! I read "V and the Beast" and "The Labors of V" and both of them were very enticing tails with great artwork. I know that some of the Japanese images are harder to find artwork for, so story matched art is definitely an added bonus! Another option in regards to photos is putting them on the header area at the top of the page vs the bottom. I was getting some video game/movie vibes throughout the tale, but I've never played Cyberpunk so I might have to now for reference purposes. Looks fun! I like your references to videogames, cars, mercenaries, etc. because what dude isn't fascinated by those things? I'm curious what you have in store for story number three! Keep it up!

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  17. Hey Aaron!
    I don't know much about Cyberpunk, but your stories seem fun. I've always liked science fiction stories and your stories definitely fall into that criteria. It is cool to see this futuristic society and yet the main character lives a nomadic life. But even with his nomadic lifestyle, he is still familiar with the city life, as we get to see when he's looking for a new car. It seems like taxi drivers would almost be putting themselves in the same danger as a mercenary in Night City, I sure wouldn't want to pick up any passengers! It would've been cool if V could have upgraded his car somehow so he could keep it with him. Then it could be like his ol' reliable that he drives everywhere and keeps in shape. I like how the stories are kind of like an internal monologue within V's head, it really gives an interesting perspective.

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  18. Hey Aaron,
    I had a ton of fun reading your stories as you were able to incorporate Cyberpunk and the Japanese folktales together into one story. I remember being so hyped after the release of Cyberpunk trailer and the way you were able to put that into one of your stories is really impressive and fascinating. I also wrote a story similar to yours surrounding a Japanese folktale and I was happy to read character names or even sword names that I recognized after writing my own stories. I loved the way you told multiple stories surrounding this I thought it was awesome you used Orochi as the strong villain. I was wondering if you watched any anime as the way you used Susanoo and Orochi is very similar to some anime I watch and read. Anyways, I really enjoyed reading your storybook and I hope you the best of luck rest of the semester!

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